Strassman: Ted E's Farewell Tour

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Tue 17 Feb ’09, 7:00pm	Saving
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Where: SkyCity Theatre, Cnr Victoria and Federal Sts, Auckland

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Event listed by: SWPR Ltd

David Strassman has big news on his 2009 Australasian tour - it's "Ted E's Farewell Tour". Tragically, the much adored Ted E Bare is announcing his show biz retirement.

The pressure, the publicity, the paparazzi, the tabloids! And - most of all - Chuck Wood! It's finally too much for one shy bear to handle. Ted E’s decided to spend more time with his family. But what family? Where will he go?

As hilarious as ever, the show is a star-studded tribute to Ted E Bare's greatest showbiz moments. And it shares the pain of his struggle, trying to understand where he belongs in the world.

Of course, Ted E Bare’s departure leaves a huge hole to fill. Who could fill Ted E's shoes? Strassman's journey of discovery uncovers some new and extraordinary characters, desperate to join the show.

Meanwhile, the existing characters battle to get more of the show. The evilly sarcastic Chuck Wood, the grumpy and cantankerous Grandpa Fred, attention-seeking A.N.G.E.L. and intergalactic Kevin enter a battle of wits - so prepare for a wild ride of biting humour and desperate behaviour!

But will Ted E Bare really leave for good? Where will he go, who is his real family, and can this psychologically twisted show survive without its shy side? Could this be the end of everyone? Make sure you find out!

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valeries 3 years ago

I think that Ted E, having worked through so much of his personal 'stuff' might like to take up being a world wide ambassador for all abused and neglected teddy bears - I have a couple here he could 'counsel'.
bren 3 years ago

I think Mr Ted E Bear should retire and go fishing, thats what most rich people do when they retire. If he's related to those bears in Canada he should be a very good fisherman.
Michael Turner 4 years ago

I love the evil, twisted mind that is Chuck Wood. How Strassman comes up with these routines would be frightening and entertaining in equal measure.
I took some friends to this last night, and everyone gave it the big thumbs up. Sensational!
Content Editor 4 years ago

Thanks for all your great entries . . . I hope Ted E Bare is checking this page so he can take advantage of all the brainstorming you've done for him.
The winner of the grand prize is - Deano P
The runner's up are - Trailrunner and Maggy Calka
Congrats everyone! Have a great time :)
Bridget 4 years ago

I think TED E bear should feature in the photos for postcards from around the world , that way he can retire, travel the world, keep in a different country to Chuck at all times and still remain famous.
beckyh 4 years ago

Dear Ted E Bear
We sure are gonna miss your cute little self on the show with David, so heres wishing u all the best in whatever your next ventures are in life. My idea for u could be maybe joining a teddy bear biker group with all your teddy friends and visit the sick kids and give all your loveable cuddles to them to brighten up their day. and of course i know u have such a loving heart so u just gotta make their day even better and give out little "mini yous" out to them too!!. And while your on the Harley bike, u can haunt Chuck with the sound of the engine every time he thinks of u, make him hide in that suitcase of his! hehe. your buddy always!!
Jax 4 years ago

Of course we dont want Tedd E to retire but if he has to I think Tedd E should answer his fan mail. And spend many hours plotting revenge on the paparazzi and Chuck
Roxayn Wright 4 years ago

He should become a ninja
Dawn 4 years ago

Who says he should retire? The average Kiwi now retires at 65. Bit early to depend on Kiwisaver isnt?
ClassicKiwi 4 years ago

Mr Ted E, should get together with the worlds other notable bears such as Cookie Bear, Pooh Bear and also Running Bear to start the world's first Bear consortium.
They could be available for product endorsements, sale of tacky key chains and T shirts and live happily ever after from the huge profits in a land of milk and honey,..........huuuuuh Dave?
Kitsune24 4 years ago

I think Ted E would just love to lie in the sun on a beach with a fruit punch in the one hand, bobbing his head to some great music and singing along, maybe travel the world too!
charlottea 4 years ago

Ted E should go to Africa. He will be able to make a lot of children and adults laugh. The people in Africa will loooooove him. And he can combine business with pleasure. Laying on the beach in Zanzibar, climbing Mt Kenya, or visiting Maasai Mara. It is combined with visiting small villages in the wopwop, where life is hard. Aids is rampant, malaria is still going around, poverty is still preventing a lot of children going to school. He would do such a great job. The good thing is also that Ted E is not white or black. He can be any race and all races. This will be an empowerment. And laugh is a wonderful medicine and cross all borders. So Africa is the way to go.
Lisa Graham 4 years ago

Ted E. Bear will go on to write a best selling tell all about his time as part of the Strassman family. Be ready for some really juicy gossip and exclusive never before seen photos. He will also sign away the rights to a autobiography book and movie deal. Once he makes 5 million he will become a monk and donate all his honey pots filled with money to SPCT - Society for prevention of cruelty to Teddies.
Elinore Manning 4 years ago

Euronymus BungeAnus - Winterberry close friend of Chucks said:
"I think it's obvious to everyone that Dave's 'behind' Ted E's retirement.
Poo:
"Dave really 'has his hand well and truly in Ted E Bares mouth!" When asked about his future, he's given a pot of gold honey it sends him off into oblivion - all he can do is look up with those big big eyes in his lost world. Once he has his paws on that honey - nothing else matters, I've seen it and I know from my own experience!"
Dave's admitted it's true but it's not as heavy handed as we believe it to be.
Ted has a rare gene. With time comes The Transformation. 'Retirement' so to speak - ( to us its like our OE). He'll be living at an exclusive retreat to help him through to becoming a SNAB (Sensitive New Age Bear) .
It is hoped that he shall meet his soul mate at the retreat. They shall have little teddies.
He shall return with his family known at Mr Ted E Bare ready to tell the world about the difficulties, rebellion, acceptanc
Julie Hollamby 4 years ago

What Ted E Bear retiring this possibly can be true, no-one could ever replace him. I reckon Ted E bear should carry on working and being the cutie he is become the next Harry Potter. I can see it now Ted E Bear and the Half Wooded Chuckie
Myss 4 years ago

i believe it's an absolute shame that the great Ted E Bare is retiring however it must just be something he has to do. I feel he should take some time to reflect on being the STAR of the Strassman stage, remember his beloved and tasty pet turtle Jimmy and possibly do a short stint stalking Chuck. In all reality, i think Ted E would make an absolutely wonderful ambassador for childrens charities such as "the make a wish foundation" or Starship etc. His fun, furry, innocent and naive persona makes him appealing to both adults and children alike. I think he as an ambassador visiting ill children and being present at fundraisers etc would make the world of difference to a spirit whose been ravaged by illness - He's a truly fantastic fella and Mickey Mouse eat your heart out.....lol. TED E BARE FOR SENATE! Hey, if Arnie can do it, so can Ted E!!!!
ddanddm 4 years ago

I think Ted E Bare will form an amazing rock band called "The Ted E Bares Piknik", he will tour the world and his music will uplift and enlighten those who hear him . He will retire after making his fortune. He never forgets his friends and let's his old buddies have whatever their hearts desire - Strassman becomes an astronaut, Chuck E Wood becomes a real boy, Grandpa Ted meets the love of his life and stops being so grumpy. Ted E Bare then travels the worlds promoting world peace and good will towards mankind, bears and puppets, he fights continuously for the rights of bears around the world. After reunited with his first love, he is finally knighted by the Queen for his good deeds and becomes "Sir Ted E Bare".
Kylie Adams 4 years ago

I think Ted E Bare should go to the woods to find his family. He can live peacefully in a log cabin and chop wood for the fire while remembering Chuck.
Pruedence Simpson 4 years ago

I think that it is sad that Ted E Bare is retiring we will all miss him very much. I think as well as a retirment package ($$) he should be able to live the rest of his life in luxury away from paparazzi and be in the company of his family. I think Ted E Bare should go to his favourite holiday destination to do this. Also I would love if he had time to visit his most adored fan (me).
Rachael Sandford 4 years ago

I personally dont think Ted E Bare should be retiring, but as sad as it is, he is going to. So therefore i think that Ted E should be awarded with lots of money as part of a retirement package so that he can travel the world to meet all his relatives and to be able to enjoy a teddy bears picnic where ever he chooses to
hayden 4 years ago

ted.e shuld hook up with poo bear and yogi bear and have a party 2 celabrate his retierment eat honey have a pinic and have a good back stab talk bout chuck haha
Jo Campbell 4 years ago

Help other bears that have been less fortunate than himself - he could help free bears caged for their bear bile and bears that are tourtured and chained up
Karalee Squire 4 years ago

How cool is that! No doubt he won't stay retired since Ted E Bares never die and he'll get bored after a while of all the travel and partying. So he'll enjoy the world and we look forward to his return (with a different agent) to the world of show biz
Alison Price 4 years ago

I looooooooove Ted E Bare. He makes me roll around with laughter. I would nurture him and take good care of him, and he could come with me on my visits to the old folks home and share his joy and mine with others.
Linda19 4 years ago

Maybe Ted E could become a best friend for wee Suri Cruise.
Lisa Gailey 4 years ago

i think ted should on retirement start a play boy mansion of his own become the next hugh
kelly lowes 4 years ago

Hey there cuddly old teddy bare. We would like you to come down here. After all the years on the road with chuck, we think that you need some better luck. In our house you are adored and if chuck turns up he will be floored, ( probably in the kitchen, or even the dunny). Your friends can all visit whenever they like but as for chuck he can take a hike. WELL, we,d like to say your ,e welcome here, with your big brown eyes and youre awesome stare. Dave can come round any old time, for a yak or a drink or just to dine. We,ll welcome you with open arms and look forward to lots of laughs and lots of charm.
trish isaac 4 years ago

Top Secret Memo:* Ted E. Bare Eyes Only*
Mr Bare,
It has come to my notice that you will no longer be in service to Mr Strassman,. Congratulations on your emancipation. I offer you a position in my company. I would like to say we are a large and highly regarded company of many heroic and concientious individuals, however, we are not. In fact there is just me. I would also like to point out our company as one of the best known, if not THE best known, in the world today. It isn't. No one knows of our company, it is *Top Secret*. However, I can reveal to you that there is no monetary incentive, or renumeration offered, for the position I offer you (we could come to some 'arrangement' involving honey on a semi regular basis). The position I speak of is that of *Top Secret Security Bare* We have serious leaks of sensitive information leading to possible identification & indeed confirmation of our very exsistence. We have a Mole. Will you help find this Mole Mr Bare? Sincerly, Elvis.
kurlynz 4 years ago

Ted E Bare should retire to a part time position as a Sky City Skyjump co-ordinator, his first "victim" should of course be Chuck. I'm sure that Ted E Bare could make little mr "I'm the big ventriliquists dummy" poo his little pink undies, and have him scream like the little girl he really is. Good luck in your retirement oh great and wonderous furry entertainer.
Sharlene Bravo 4 years ago

(to the tune of Teddy Bear's Picnic)
When Chuck goes down to the woods today
he's in for a big surprise.
Realisation he's forever a puppet begins to make him cry….
Ted E Bare's there - living in bliss,
without Chuck there, taking the piss,
And every day he gets to enjoy a picnic.
Retirement time for Ted E Bare,
Inquisitive Ted E Bare is free to play with a care,
Eating turtles unaware is now ok 'cause they rejuvenate!
See him laugh and sleep all day,
He even met a girly bear and they're in love…
Now no more bad dreams, o-only good things happen here in Ted E Bare's hood,
Now Chuckie thinks that it's not fair!
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