Spam Pig

Sorry, this event’s been and gone

When:

Mon 21 Apr ’08–Sat 26 Apr ’08, 9:30pm

Where: The Drake, 2 Drake St, Freemans Bay Show map

Ticket Information:

Adult: $20.00
Concession: $18.50
Group (10+): $19.00
Booking fees may apply

Website:

www.comedyfestival.co.nz

Favourites:

Elephant Publicity

Proof Of Spam Pig Existence: Inboxes Aren’t Safe; Spam Pig “Virus” May Affect Millions; Investigators Working To Fight Spam Pig Infection.

Scientists have confirmed the cause of SPAM emails lies in the Spam Pig virus, which millions may be susceptible to. The Spam Pig virus can afflict as many as one in every seven internet users, with the highest rates of infection occurring in accounting offices nationwide. Principle Investigator Vaughan King and Sub-District Councillor Diane Spencer of the Kiwi branch of the Russian Internet Safety Organisation (VKBSK) have launched an inquiry to identify the original Spam Pig, in order to neutralize what they call a “global internet epidemic”.

“People aren’t safe,” said King, “they see cartoons of dancing frogs, with ‘quote of the day’ beneath it, and they lose all control; punching the monitor and walking into the boss’s office with blood running off their hands to say ‘it’s happened again’ is our most common complaint. Employers can’t deal with the pressure or the carpet replacement.”

“Spam Pigs have been endemic in internet culture, but the discovery of a virus that actually reduces human intelligence, causing the infected user to forward such damaging emails is a significant step forward in reducing the problem,” commented Spencer. “Yeah, that’s right” added King.

The proof of the existence of the Spam Pig comes at a significant time; severe allergic reactions from opening SPAM emails are at their highest level since 1763. “I opened the email, saw the cats, then blacked out,” said a 32 yr old IT consultant from Mt Eden, “when I awoke, the computer was on the floor covered in vomit and wee.” Reports of such disturbing scenarios have steadily increased, leading to some employers installing heavy security inbox lock down software normally reserved for military purposes and smashing their employees fingers with hammers.

A series of Spam Pig public awareness lectures will be presented from 21st – 26th April 2008 at The Drake in Auckland to raise public awareness of the public danger a lack of awareness can present.

Show duration: 1 hour